Conscious Un-Chicagoing

When I found out Michael wanted to go to graduate school in Chicago, my first thought was of pure excitement. I'd always wanted to get out of the south and experience life a different way. I thought it would be super easy to have a few transition years in the Midwest. Moving in the winter? Sure! Move 3 months into my marriage? Yes! Move without jobs? Why not!? My almost 3 and a half years in Chicago have been a lot of things, but easy isn't one of them. What started off challenging for sure, has ended up being life changing and transformative for both Michael and me. Chicago has been home for me longer than Shreveport was. It's true what they say, life passes by quicker the older you get. 

So as my time here in Chi is coming to a close, I sit and reminisce on the times that have shaped my experience. From working with coworkers that challenge me and collaborate with me in a way that has transformed the kind of Hair Stylist I am today to learning to truly appreciate a dishwasher. I mean, who gets the chance to share a back porch with your best friend, have marathons of The Mindy Project over and over again with the gals, and have bffs that obsess over awards season with you (let's not speak of devils juice)? These are the things I will never have again and for that, I will be forever indebted to you, Chicago. I think about all the possibilities that our life in Houston holds, and it's hard to not dismiss leaving and ignore the goodbyes (because with my gals it will never be goodbye). But it's really a goodbye to a time in my life I will never return to. That being said, I'm ready to start our new life back in our sunny, warm, home: Texas. 

So E-Town, even through all the cold, problems, and expenses, you will always represent the strange time in my life where I ordered Thai food whenever I wanted, made all my friends work with me, never had to pay my rent on time(or ever), ignored being an adult, and bought 2 buck chuck by the case. I will miss you Sweet Home Chicago, but we are ready for this next chapter. Texas, the Jarboe's are coming for you! 

The one about alcohol

I always get to this time of year and go into such deep thought about Lent.  As I said last year, I grew up not really ever knowing what it was.  My church didn't really practice this tradition, and it never really spoke to me.

As my husband and I were driving to work this morning, he asked me what I was giving up for lent. I said I didn't think I was going to do it this year.  It didn't feel right and I felt that I might do it for the wrong reasons.  If I was going to give something up it wasn't going to be to lose weight or to put on a show.  And then I said "I don't want to commit to something and then mess up. I'd rather just not do it"

Since I can remember, my family has had some very difficult views on alcohol.  It's bad for you, it does evil things, stay away forever, etc.  While growing up I did stay away much longer than my boyfriend and friends in high school did.  I saw it turn someone I love dearly into a completely different person.  So as I started to become a grown of-age adult, I have tried to find my beliefs on alcohol.  Can I have a margarita and still love God? Where in all of my life, all of my experiences, where do my thoughts on alcohol stand?  Is it something I want to give up for lent?  Something I can't? Something I need to give up?  These are things I've been asking myself for a few weeks now.  Here is what I've come up with. 

Addiction is horrible.  It sucks you into a somewhat glamorous lifestyle and then spits you out into a world where you choose a substance over people and things and careers you love.  I've watched it ruin people.  But after I've looked and thought and prayed about it, I've come to the conclusion that it's not alcohols fault.  It's not cocaines fault.  It's the addiction.  It's the disease.  

So, after much thought and prayer, I am giving up alcohol for lent.  Not because I feel like it's bad, or that I might be addicted to it, but because it's a topic that hits close to home for me.  Every time I would go grab a drink with a coworker or pour that glass of wine at my house after a long day, I will think and pray for my family, friends, and people in this world that struggle with addiction.  

After a pause, my husband said back to me "Lesley, sometimes in Christianity, we mess up.  Don't let it keep you from living."  

So here is to your Lenten season! I pray that you will find peace and compassion knowing that, if you do struggle with addiction or someone close to you does, someone is praying and thinking of you. 

Happy Lenting!

Lesley 

Twenty Fourteen

For the past few years, my husband, best friend and I have tried to make a list of goals for the next year (11 in 2011, etc).  It has gotten too high to have 14 goals so I've decided on 4.  I can't believe it's this time of year again!  It feels like yesterday that I was making one of these right before I moved to Chicago and that was 3 years ago!  While the last few years have not come easy, I'm so happy to have made it to 2014 with my very best friends, great family and more in love with my husband than I was last year.  I'm pretty lucky. 

1. My first goal is to not look ahead and live in the future. To savor and love exactly where I am.  Michael and I are in a very transitional year and it's very easy to forget about the now and just look ahead all year.  I just want to enjoy today and try my hardest to not worry about tomorrow until it's here. 

2. Read a book a month.  I've had this goal for the past few years and really dropped the ball this year.  I really want to get back into my habit of reading consistantly.

3. Travel for pleasure as much as possible.  The last few years I have only traveled to visit my family and weddings etc.  That is obviously the priority but we have really missed having any vacations!  I would like to travel a few times to places we haven't been to relax and have some fun. 

4. To learn how to stand up for what I believe in without being offensive.  There have been so many times this year that I have written blogs that I haven't ever posted (ChickFilA, Miley Cyrus, Trayvon Martin, DuckDynasty... Just to name a few) just for the sake of being PC and also just to not stir the pot.  I'm not going to change anyone's mind but I also feel if I don't stand up for what I know is right, I will lose myself.  To quote one of many unposted blogs, 

"I'm a self proclaimed feminist who hates being one.  It's not too much fun, it gets on everyone's nerves (TBH I hate people who have a cause), and it generally means I feel the need to speak up when really I should just be quiet, roll my eyes and move on."

I want to learn how to roll my eyes and move on but also how to advocate for things that are near and dear to me. 

All in all, I am very excited to see what 2014 has in store for all of us.  I am trusting in God to take my family, friends and me where we are ready and willing to be this year.  

Happy New Year!  

Lessons learned from 13 going on 30

I wrote this essay for a Real Simple contest some two years ago and never sent it in. I think I may have forgotten? Anyways, I just found it and thought I would post.  Remember it's a little out of date.  It was written the summer after I was married, so it's definetly mushy.  My apologies in advance :) 

"A Razzle, Mr. Flamhaff? Thank you, Mrs. Flamhaff!"  The ending scene to the cutesy Jen Garner- Mark Ruffalo rom-com "13 going on 30" was perfect.  I was with my mom and sister and as we were leaving the theater my mom looked at us and said "The moral of this story? Lesley, be nice to Michael Jarboe!" I was appalled. 

The first time I saw Michael Jarboe, he was standing in front of my sixth grade locker.  In his uniform polo and shorts, signature metal chain ball necklace, pixie like bangs and light blue colored braces, I knew he was waiting for my best friend, Miranda (whose locker was directly under mine).  Miranda told me she had started dating someone.  She forgot to mention he was a total dork.  They "dated" for several months, but eventually broke up because he was going too fast for her.  Tried to hold her hand or something.  I was relived.  Two years later, I had signed up to help the student council sell carnations for Valentine's Day.  That was the first day Michael Jarboe made me laugh.  But I couldn't like this guy!  He was in choir and theater!  I was a cheerleader!  This just couldn't work.  

What I know of love, I know mostly from my parents, they are going on 28 years of marriage.  I knew nothing but love growing up.  I realize I'm a rare find, to still have my parents together.  When I was 16, fresh off my first real heartbreak, I felt so alone.  My friends and family tried to cheer me up, but the only thing that helped was my eating disorder.  It was making me feel in control of something.  And then, one day, I got an out of the blue call from Michael Jarboe.  He wanted to take me to a movie.  That sounded great.  We had become great friends, but my last boyfriend always thought we had a connection so I wasn't allowed to talk to him.  That night, Michael Jarboe took me to Hunan dynasty for chinese food, we saw Shrek 2, and went and sat in a fast food restaurant for hours.  That's when I saw Michael Jarboe for the first time. We laughed until we cried.  

What I have found on my my journey for love is it comes when you have no idea.  I basically spent my whole childhood begging to get this guy out of my life.  Michael Jarboe taught me more about love than I ever knew.  He firstly taught me how to love myself,   and then he taught me how to love him. 

Last October, I married Michael Jarboe.  I never experienced real love until a day in November 2009, I somehow got tricked into going to my old middle school.  As I walked in, there was a pathway of candles to my sixth grade locker where Michael Jarboe was on one knee.  Where we first saw each other.  Where he, singlehandedly, changed my life forever.

Current Obsessions

The Official 2012 Olympics (according to me)

You all are watching the Olympics.  If you aren't please escort yourself to Canada.  We all have our favorites, for different reasons, here are mine.  May the odds be ever in your favor! (sorry, I couldn't help it)

Gabby Douglas is CLEARLY the darling of these Olympic Games.  She is the cutest thing I've ever seen!  These girls made me excited about gymnastics for the first time since 96' Dominique Dawes and Kerri Strug.  The deal with her hair?  No deal.  I dont understand. Seriously. What is the big deal?

 Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh Jennings are so much fun to watch! Not as much fun for me as it is for my husband (he continues to tell me, thanks hun) but still, those abs are fierce!  That braid?  eh.

 McKayla Maroney's bitch face is my absolute favorite part of this years games.  Look. At. That. Face. PURE GENIUS! I worship you, McKayla.  May I one day don that face in a CORE pic.

 I know you can't talk about this years Olympics without mentioning Phelps.  I think he's a douche.  Good job on the medals though.  Also, I think you're dumb when you speak. 

 Missy Franklin is 17.  I can not, not cry when I watch her win these medals.  She is so surprised genuinely (a la TSwift circa her first round of awards shows.  Now it's annoying.  Swift not Franklin. Oh God.)  I cried watching her parents, I cried watching her coach, I cried watching her teammates, I cried watching freaking Kate Middleton cheering her on.  You go Glen CoCo.

 Ryan. Lochte. Need I say more? 

(I think he's actually missing some brain cells.  He can't form complete sentences.  He clearly is meant to be without a shirt. Praise Allah)

 Ryan Lochte's Mom.  Oh that sweet, sweet lady who says he only has time for one night stands.  Where does the line start?

Aly Raisman's parents are more interesting to watch than she is!  Don't get me wrong, that girl is fierce, but I couldn't take my eyes off her mom and dad just jolting all around. Brilliance.

The Bronze goes to Ryan Lochte for the obvious.

Silver goes to the Raisman's

Gold is obviously McKayla's. At least you got one from me, boo!

Makeover yourself, girl.

Every girl knows that in order for a chick flick to, in fact, BE a chick flick, there's got to be a makeover scene. That or have Meg/Tom or Julia/Richard in it.  Some of my favorite makeover scene's include but aren't limited to...

 The Devil Wears Prada

Anne Hathaway, no stranger to a makeover scene, is amazing in this walk-through NYC of costume changes.  It is by far my second favorite move makeover of. all. time.

Maid in Manhattan

JLo is fine.  Need I say more?  Is she even remotely convincing as a maid?   Didn't think so.

 Mean Girls


Ahhh the good old days when Lindsay Lohan was a semi-respectable human being.  She looks like a whore, yes.  But at least she doesn't (yet) look rode hard and hung up wet.

 Never Been Kissed

Drew is so tragic when this movie starts.  There isn't quite a makeover scene, per say, but she looks less of a hotmess.

 Pretty Woman 


Julia.  These were the days.  I love this movie.  The clothes are wretched before and after.  "Do you work on commission?  Big BIG mistake, HUGE"

 Grease

This is the worst need for a makeover, but quite possibly the most famous.  When Sandy ditches that sweet Sandra D ponytail for those high waist leather pants, every girl wanted to wear that.  

The Princess Diaries

Look at Anne.  Her first makeover scene.  It's hard to make her look like she needs a makeover for sure, but plucking those eyebrows and snapping those glasses in half was pure genius.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding

The obvious, far superior, best makeover scene in ANY chick flick is Toula.  Not only does Toula realize herself that she needs a change, she goes out, gets a degree and a job, all the while buying some new makeup and clothes to go with her new look.  Ian Miller/Aiden Shaw/Jon Corbett loved her from the start and says he doesn't even remember "Frump Girl".  I certainly did.  Why in the hell did Carrie leave him anyways?  Am I mixing up my stories here? He will always be Aiden in my heart.  Although, Ian Miller is pretty great as well.