I always get to this time of year and go into such deep thought about Lent. As I said last year, I grew up not really ever knowing what it was. My church didn't really practice this tradition, and it never really spoke to me.
As my husband and I were driving to work this morning, he asked me what I was giving up for lent. I said I didn't think I was going to do it this year. It didn't feel right and I felt that I might do it for the wrong reasons. If I was going to give something up it wasn't going to be to lose weight or to put on a show. And then I said "I don't want to commit to something and then mess up. I'd rather just not do it"
Since I can remember, my family has had some very difficult views on alcohol. It's bad for you, it does evil things, stay away forever, etc. While growing up I did stay away much longer than my boyfriend and friends in high school did. I saw it turn someone I love dearly into a completely different person. So as I started to become a grown of-age adult, I have tried to find my beliefs on alcohol. Can I have a margarita and still love God? Where in all of my life, all of my experiences, where do my thoughts on alcohol stand? Is it something I want to give up for lent? Something I can't? Something I need to give up? These are things I've been asking myself for a few weeks now. Here is what I've come up with.
Addiction is horrible. It sucks you into a somewhat glamorous lifestyle and then spits you out into a world where you choose a substance over people and things and careers you love. I've watched it ruin people. But after I've looked and thought and prayed about it, I've come to the conclusion that it's not alcohols fault. It's not cocaines fault. It's the addiction. It's the disease.
So, after much thought and prayer, I am giving up alcohol for lent. Not because I feel like it's bad, or that I might be addicted to it, but because it's a topic that hits close to home for me. Every time I would go grab a drink with a coworker or pour that glass of wine at my house after a long day, I will think and pray for my family, friends, and people in this world that struggle with addiction.
After a pause, my husband said back to me "Lesley, sometimes in Christianity, we mess up. Don't let it keep you from living."
So here is to your Lenten season! I pray that you will find peace and compassion knowing that, if you do struggle with addiction or someone close to you does, someone is praying and thinking of you.
Happy Lenting!
Lesley
