When I was growing up as an Assemblies of God pastors kid legacy major, I had no idea what the idea of "Lent" was. That's for Catholics, I thought. We had 40 Days of Purpose (newsflash evangelicals, its the same. thing.). I only started "giving up" things once I moved to a United Methodist church about 5 years ago. (About the time I started taking communion using intinction rather than taking it from a prepackaged cup at my seat and it completely changed me.) I usually give up fried food, cursing, booze, meat, or the inevitable chocolate for Lent. I end up giving up about 8 days later and never think about it again.
Last year my best friend Emma posted this blog about instead of giving something up for Lent we add something that would change our views. Like, maybe we should try to eat chocolate every day for lent. We aren't all in the same place! Who is to say that I should give up eating french fries and focus on God's grace in the time I would be eating said fries. It just doesn't make any sense to me.
Last year for Lent I decided I would do one thing a day just for myself. Buy myself flowers, make myself cookies, clean my bathroom, go out with my 2 girlfriends, make a homemade margarita, talk to my mom for 2 hours on the phone, have a date with my husband, and while I'm doing such things I would thank God for my ability to do these things. I was in a very dark place this time last year and it only got worse as the year went on. I do remember though, feeling like I loved my life a little more during this time.
Recently I have really realized my struggle with self image. It is something I will always struggle with I've come to understand. So, naturally, my first thought was to workout and diet every day this year for lent. Essentially, lose weight for God and if I don't it will not only be a defeat against myself but also my faith. Obviously a horrible, and selfish, idea. I just want to not feel like I am obsessed with how much I weigh.
So I have decided to give up weighing myself for the entire lenten season. If you know me, you know I'm weighing myself every single day and beating myself up over .6 lbs I've gained, lost, or maintained. During my obsessive habits, freak outs, work outs, etc. I'm going to instead give my God thanks for giving me the ability to choose how I deal with different things and for the pretty awesome life I have. Like while I may live my life, take communion, pray, and go to church differently then some (and differently than I would've thought 6 years ago), I know that the faith, grace, and love God has for me is all I need.
Here's to a new perspective! Happy Lenting!
xxLesley
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