Conscious Un-Chicagoing

When I found out Michael wanted to go to graduate school in Chicago, my first thought was of pure excitement. I'd always wanted to get out of the south and experience life a different way. I thought it would be super easy to have a few transition years in the Midwest. Moving in the winter? Sure! Move 3 months into my marriage? Yes! Move without jobs? Why not!? My almost 3 and a half years in Chicago have been a lot of things, but easy isn't one of them. What started off challenging for sure, has ended up being life changing and transformative for both Michael and me. Chicago has been home for me longer than Shreveport was. It's true what they say, life passes by quicker the older you get. 

So as my time here in Chi is coming to a close, I sit and reminisce on the times that have shaped my experience. From working with coworkers that challenge me and collaborate with me in a way that has transformed the kind of Hair Stylist I am today to learning to truly appreciate a dishwasher. I mean, who gets the chance to share a back porch with your best friend, have marathons of The Mindy Project over and over again with the gals, and have bffs that obsess over awards season with you (let's not speak of devils juice)? These are the things I will never have again and for that, I will be forever indebted to you, Chicago. I think about all the possibilities that our life in Houston holds, and it's hard to not dismiss leaving and ignore the goodbyes (because with my gals it will never be goodbye). But it's really a goodbye to a time in my life I will never return to. That being said, I'm ready to start our new life back in our sunny, warm, home: Texas. 

So E-Town, even through all the cold, problems, and expenses, you will always represent the strange time in my life where I ordered Thai food whenever I wanted, made all my friends work with me, never had to pay my rent on time(or ever), ignored being an adult, and bought 2 buck chuck by the case. I will miss you Sweet Home Chicago, but we are ready for this next chapter. Texas, the Jarboe's are coming for you! 

The one about alcohol

I always get to this time of year and go into such deep thought about Lent.  As I said last year, I grew up not really ever knowing what it was.  My church didn't really practice this tradition, and it never really spoke to me.

As my husband and I were driving to work this morning, he asked me what I was giving up for lent. I said I didn't think I was going to do it this year.  It didn't feel right and I felt that I might do it for the wrong reasons.  If I was going to give something up it wasn't going to be to lose weight or to put on a show.  And then I said "I don't want to commit to something and then mess up. I'd rather just not do it"

Since I can remember, my family has had some very difficult views on alcohol.  It's bad for you, it does evil things, stay away forever, etc.  While growing up I did stay away much longer than my boyfriend and friends in high school did.  I saw it turn someone I love dearly into a completely different person.  So as I started to become a grown of-age adult, I have tried to find my beliefs on alcohol.  Can I have a margarita and still love God? Where in all of my life, all of my experiences, where do my thoughts on alcohol stand?  Is it something I want to give up for lent?  Something I can't? Something I need to give up?  These are things I've been asking myself for a few weeks now.  Here is what I've come up with. 

Addiction is horrible.  It sucks you into a somewhat glamorous lifestyle and then spits you out into a world where you choose a substance over people and things and careers you love.  I've watched it ruin people.  But after I've looked and thought and prayed about it, I've come to the conclusion that it's not alcohols fault.  It's not cocaines fault.  It's the addiction.  It's the disease.  

So, after much thought and prayer, I am giving up alcohol for lent.  Not because I feel like it's bad, or that I might be addicted to it, but because it's a topic that hits close to home for me.  Every time I would go grab a drink with a coworker or pour that glass of wine at my house after a long day, I will think and pray for my family, friends, and people in this world that struggle with addiction.  

After a pause, my husband said back to me "Lesley, sometimes in Christianity, we mess up.  Don't let it keep you from living."  

So here is to your Lenten season! I pray that you will find peace and compassion knowing that, if you do struggle with addiction or someone close to you does, someone is praying and thinking of you. 

Happy Lenting!

Lesley 

Twenty Fourteen

For the past few years, my husband, best friend and I have tried to make a list of goals for the next year (11 in 2011, etc).  It has gotten too high to have 14 goals so I've decided on 4.  I can't believe it's this time of year again!  It feels like yesterday that I was making one of these right before I moved to Chicago and that was 3 years ago!  While the last few years have not come easy, I'm so happy to have made it to 2014 with my very best friends, great family and more in love with my husband than I was last year.  I'm pretty lucky. 

1. My first goal is to not look ahead and live in the future. To savor and love exactly where I am.  Michael and I are in a very transitional year and it's very easy to forget about the now and just look ahead all year.  I just want to enjoy today and try my hardest to not worry about tomorrow until it's here. 

2. Read a book a month.  I've had this goal for the past few years and really dropped the ball this year.  I really want to get back into my habit of reading consistantly.

3. Travel for pleasure as much as possible.  The last few years I have only traveled to visit my family and weddings etc.  That is obviously the priority but we have really missed having any vacations!  I would like to travel a few times to places we haven't been to relax and have some fun. 

4. To learn how to stand up for what I believe in without being offensive.  There have been so many times this year that I have written blogs that I haven't ever posted (ChickFilA, Miley Cyrus, Trayvon Martin, DuckDynasty... Just to name a few) just for the sake of being PC and also just to not stir the pot.  I'm not going to change anyone's mind but I also feel if I don't stand up for what I know is right, I will lose myself.  To quote one of many unposted blogs, 

"I'm a self proclaimed feminist who hates being one.  It's not too much fun, it gets on everyone's nerves (TBH I hate people who have a cause), and it generally means I feel the need to speak up when really I should just be quiet, roll my eyes and move on."

I want to learn how to roll my eyes and move on but also how to advocate for things that are near and dear to me. 

All in all, I am very excited to see what 2014 has in store for all of us.  I am trusting in God to take my family, friends and me where we are ready and willing to be this year.  

Happy New Year!